(Don’t) Let Them Eat Cake

(Don’t) Let Them Eat Cake

I make no secret of the fact that I live in a lovely community suffering from a longstanding invasion of ignorant asshats (see HERE). So, I should not have been surprised by the most recent local activity but it has indeed caught me off guard. Why did I expect more? Because this issue involves the children in our county and their health.

Graphic courtesy of http://www.schoolnutritionandfitness.com/

Douglas County School District has become the only district in the state of Colorado to opt out of the Michelle Obama-championed new federal student lunch guidelines at the high school level. What a distinction! While I love the general idea of bucking the system and taking a stand, this opt-out represents one of the worst decisions that our should-have-been-voted-out-there’s-always-next-time school board has had a hand in.

In response, I had a whole blog planned on the history of school lunches, the current guideline updates, and ways to embrace the healthier changes and fight childhood obesity while teaching our kids to enjoy a balanced meal. I’m going to skip that though, in favor of a Q&A, in which I cast the school board/naysayers in the roll of Inquisitor, and myself as the Voice of Reason. (This casting is totally biased, of course, but that’s a perk of writing your own blog.)

A quick background and some resources, if you are into things like research and fact checking:

And now, to the inquisition!
INQUISITOR: The government is overstepping its bounds by dictating the composition of school lunches. What’s next? Will we be forced to investigate and evaluate the sack lunches kids bring in the door?
VOICE OF REASON: Public schools are subject to government oversight. With government funds, comes government accountability. This is why DCSD lost its eligibility to be reimbursed for free and low-cost school lunches when it decided not to participate in the new school lunch program. But you know that. And I’m sure you weighed that estimated $167,000 yearly reimbursement (not too many poor kids in Douglas County!) against the $3M a year in revenue that the school district takes in from its in-house Subway franchises. Nope, not even Jared and his giant pants can make Subway sandwiches worthy of our kids in the eyes of the federal guidelines, so losing those fast food chains would have been a hit to the ol’ pocketbook. 
What was the other part? Oh yeah, government oversight of kids’ sack lunches. That’s kind of an inflammatory argument based on nothing, right? Did Rush put you up to this? There is no precedent or law that prohibits parents from feeding their kids a bucket of Cheetos if they want to. Being food stupid, on a private level at least, is totally in alignment with federal regulations. Phew!
INQUISITOR: The guidelines are too strict. Our chef made a pizza that adhered to the guidelines and the kids hated it. And his burrito had to be created in miniature in order to comply. What do you say to that, huh?
VoR: Who decided that our kids need foods like pizza, burritos, cheeseburgers and fries in their daily lunch? Because they like them? If we based our children’s diets on what they liked, my kids would eat nothing but macaroni and cheese and Whoppers malted milk balls for dinner. Stop luring kids to the lunch line with empty calories covered in melted cheese. Here’s a crazy thought: don’t serve pizza. At all. The menus aren’t set by the new regulations, just the guidelines. So, and I’m just spitballing here, what if the PTO sponsored a school-wide recipe contest, kids and parents could get involved, and there could be a taste-testing night to raise money for the school? Winning recipes, with nutritional information, could be handed over to the district chef and/or school lunch supervisor and incorporated into the lunch menu. Too crazy? You’d rather stick to selling wrapping paper? Okay, then take ten minutes, harness the power of social media, and call out for help from the world of food and mom bloggers. Provide them with information on cost stipulations and nutritional content per serving and see what those wacky kitchen creatives come up with. Or google it. Someone has probably already done this.
INQUISITOR: Just because you give a kid an apple, you can’t make him eat it. We have the healthiest trash cans in the state – the kids are throwing away more than they eat! 
VoR: Until healthy lunches are the new normal, there is going to be a learning curve. Remember turning 21? No? That’s because you were blackout drunk. A natural reaction to your new access to the magical world of booze. But your liver couldn’t keep up with that kind of routine for the rest of your life, so you adapted and started to drink in moderation at least most of the time. So it will be with our kids. As booze is to a hangover, so too is trashing your lunch to hunger. (Bonus lesson: This will also teach kids a natural consequence that is a direct result of their actions!) It will also help when you stop trying to feed students pseudo-cardboard, non-fat pizza. Again, pizza is now a treat in this new world and not a school lunch staple, so it can be delicious, gooey and full of fat outside of school bounds. For the school day let’s find some new recipes, like hummus/cucumber/pita sandwiches for instance, and teach the kids about cucumbers. Involve them in the school garden. If there isn’t a school garden, plant one! Seeds are cheap and the child labor is built in, which is part of the reason I myself had kids. I’m sure an inventive biology teacher can adapt a lesson on Mendel’s genetics to be taught outside while the ninth graders weed the pea patch. Torn away from their classrooms and textbooks, the kids may actually listen and (holy shit!) become inspired.
INQUISITOR: For some kids, this is their only guaranteed meal in a day, and it is being wasted.
VoR: A truly hungry child will eat the healthy meal. A truly hungry child, who may not have access to fresh produce on a regular basis, will eat the apple and maybe take a second one as well. A truly hungry child needs the nutrition provided by the new guidelines, since a standard piece of pizza may fill their stomaches but leave them nutritionally starving. 
INQUISITOR: Well what about our cooks? They aren’t allowed to give seconds, so extra food goes right into the trash.
VoR: Come on, work with me on this one. Lunch rooms must adhere to strict food and cleanliness guidelines, which makes them perfect candidates for donating extra meals to churches and soup kitchens. All that takes is a little coordination and a phone call. If you are lucky enough to live in the Denver area, check out We Don’t Waste. I’m pretty sure they’ll take the call. 
INQUISITOR: When I grew up, school lunches were delicious. Can’t we leave well enough alone?
VoR: When you grew up, school lunches weren’t competing with fast foods, and you only had 2 options daily, Take It or Leave It. “Foods” that can be found in current high school cafeterias weren’t even invented when you went to school.
INQUISITOR: But what about a parent’s right to choose without unnecessary government – 
VoR: Enough! Enough with the justifications and the inflammatory what ifs. The Voice of Reason is going to lose her mind! Seriously, where is the common sense? Even the schools adhering to the guidelines are lobbying to get french fries to count as a vegetable and pizza sauce to count as a serving of tomatoes. If you used all of this loophole energy and transferred it into trying to make the system work, we could have nutritious foods in our schools, kids who have a greater knowledge of where food comes from and how it affects their bodies, and parents would have an ally in the age old battle of getting kids to eat broccoli. Is the new system perfect? Nope. But let’s try it and then when we encounter hiccups work towards a logical solution rather than writing off the whole system as broken and tossing it away. Let’s not make this about economics and politics and instead refocus on the real message of raising a healthy generation of kids. If we as a community are going to unite and take a stand, let’s work together to introduce our children to exotic vegetables and a new variety of spices instead of reaching a point of mutiny to protect their access to a five dollar foot long sub. 
Damn. Being the only voice of reason in the discussion is exhausting. And angry-making, apparently. This issue makes me nuts. What do you all think?

2 thoughts on “(Don’t) Let Them Eat Cake”

  • This is an area where people who live in more affluent districts and people in urban poor areas are living in different worlds. Many times public policy is created to protect and serve the most at risk and too often those not at risk feel like they are losing freedom because they don't need the policies. They are unaware that there are places that would not have basic health, safety, and common sense rules if not mandated. I am a Chicago Public School teacher in a low-income neighborhood school. 93% of my class qualifies for free or reduced school breakfast and lunch. Chicago follows the new guidelines and it is working well for my students. First to dispel some misconceptions- our students are still served corndogs, pizza, and nachos but there are some new healthier options main course options mixed into the monthly menu. Student still must have vegetable or fruit with their meal and many of my students choose extra fruit or vegetables because it is the only place they are getting these items. We have food deserts in many Chicago neighborhoods and in these neighborhoods groceries come from the corner store not the grocery store. Before the free breakfast program my students most common breakfast was a small bag of flaming hot Cheetos and a fruit punch juice box (total cost less than 75 cents at the corner store). We really should be raising the bar for kids health and choices in their lunches. In every public school parents are more than welcome to send a lunch from home that they have full control over. We owe it to our public school children to try to give them healthier options and not settle for what they prefer-When it comes to curriculum would you allow them to learn only what they wanted too?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *